Promotion Course.

So I have just got back from my two week cadet warrant officer promotion course. Saw all my old seniors friends again which was very cool. Also I saw my other half. Miss Sarah. I love that girl too much.
Well some good news. I passed! Didn't do as well as I was hoping, but I passed and that is all that matters. It was the best use of those two weeks. I honestly don't care about the trials. Study before. I'll be fine. The HSC is not for me anyways.
I know my dad would kill me, but this is not his life. All I want to do is cadets.
Which ironically causes most of my problems.
Before I left for my course I had a bit of a fight with my brother (no, I don't have a brother). But I don't know whether it was actually a fight, more like he decided to troll me, which I was a little pissed about. Meh. I got over it very quickly. I missed him on the course though. Like lots. I often spill to him and when he wasn't there, I felt a bit isolated. But lucky Sarah was there. Ily and shizz.

Hmmm. Also the other situation with the.... hmmm.

Anyway. I had to get over that VERY quickly. Wasn't my place at all.

But I am glad that something else happened from course. Something that I hadn't expected at all. A new friend that was founded through two mutual friends.
But knowing me. I'll read too much into it. Fall. Get slapped out of it. Wake up with a sore chest.

But I can't help it. I just don't want that "forever alone" face plastered on mine.

It's ok. I know I have someone there.

Also only a week or so until trials. I have been studying. But not as much as I would have liked to. I just really lack motivation these days. The only thing keeping me going is cadets. And uni.

I want to go to uni. Even if I do a course a UWS, I just need that social experience. But I want to travel.

There are so many things I want to do.
Visit Smash in SA?
Visit Sarah in the Gong?
Go down to Canberra?
Yes.

But I know the one thing I am looking forward to is the January Promotion Course.

Being a DI would be such an amazing experience. But I need to get to Warrant Officer first.

Hmmmm.

Well that was my rant for the month or so. I might return after trials.

Peace off :)

Rethinking It All...

Something has happened in my life. Lets just say a small catalyst.
I am seriously rethinking my whole life.

The first question I ask myself.

1. Who?

I have never had a best friend. I know I like to say people are, but to me they and I are simply good friends that share a lot in common with me.

Who is that person to go everywhere with me and have those girly moments? I have no one like that. I have never come across that one person that I feel I can tell my life story without judgement or regret.

I feel alone.

Completely.

I want someone I can call in the middle of the night to talk about my life with. But I guess life plays out like that huh?

There is a best friend for everyone. Except me. I guess I deserve it. I haven't really been the most understanding or compassionate person in my life.

That's that. When I find that someone that knows my life story, I'll let you all know. I guess it's my trust issues. We'll see.

2. Why?

Why do I get the short straw? I haven't got the looks, brains or charm to be the kind of person that I know I should be. I just want to be different. Don't get me wrong. I love being me. But being me doesn't help to do what I have always wanted to do....

3. When.

It answers itself.



I just hope that one of these days. That person, whether they be my husband, best friend or simply a traveller, they take me away. I can be myself. Which at the current point in the space time continuum, I can't.

Till next time.

Blurt

I'm sorry but you can't tell me that love is only between a man and a woman. Love is everywhere and it occurs between everyone.

Life's A Show.

Life's a show
And we all play our parts
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts
Its alright
If some things come out wrong
We’ll sing a happy song
And you can't sing along

Where theres life, theres hope
Everydays a gift
Wishes can, come true
Whistle while, you work
So hard, all day

To be like other girls
To fit in, in this glittering world
Don’t give me songs
Don’t give me songs
Give me something to sing about
I need something to sing about

Lifes a song
You don’t get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse
Still my friends don’t know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for

All the joy life sends
Family and friends
All the twists and bends
Knowing that it ends
Well that depends

On if they let you go
On if they know enough to know
That when you bowed
You leave the crowed

There was no pain
No fear no doubt
Til they pulled me out
Of heaven
So that’s my refrain
I live in hell
Cause I've been expelled from heaven
I think I was in heaven

So give me something to sing about
Please give me something...




Now this song is just so true to our daily world. I have my part and I play it. Sometimes it a funny role and other times, it's one where I need to cry. But I know that the next role will be more challenging than the last.


Take a tip from Spike.


The pain that you feel
You only can heal by living...

In the Beginning...

So in the beginning there was my mum and dad. I have heard that they were in love (which I still don't believe...) and so they married.After about a year into their marriage mum had me! I was a sorry little thing with rashes everywhere and had to have mittens on my hands when I was alone so that I wouldn't make it worse. So there we all were. A happy family.

Until the "thing" happened.

Now to this very day, I have no idea what happened since both my mum and dad tell different stories, so I like to think that one day when I was a young and happy three year old, mum and dad suddenly weren't together any more.
PLEASE don't feel sorry for me. I have known nothing else so you would be wasting your time and emotions. It's the stuff that happened after that that made me the person I am today.

[we will fill in this part of my life later...]

But now. I am a semi-happy/normal person attending the best high school I could hope for, and I have the best past time and amazing friends.
It couldn't get much better than my position now.

Until...